Dream Team: Our Perfect X-MEN Rosters [Part 3]

We’re seeing a changing of the guard once again at Marvel with the X-Men teams, with even a return to the Blue and Gold teams of old. But Comicosity asked its staff: what would YOUR perfect roster for the X-Men be?

With hundreds (maybe thousands!) of mutants on hand to choose from, here’s our second of three days of creative combos to tickle your fangirl and boy imaginations!

See Day 1 and Day 2’s picks!

 

Aaron Long

Storm

Straight up, no X-Men roster is complete without Storm. And no X-Men team is at their best unless Storm is leading them. Fuck off, Cyke, you’ve got nothing on the most epic X-Man there has ever been, Ororo Munroe. Mohawk or not, she will lead this team through anything and make the right call.

Beast

I’ve always had a soft spot for Henry. As far back as I can remember, he’s been one of my favourite comic book characters and his presence is always brings that “X feel” to a book for me. Every team needs a scientist and Hank McCoy is about the best one there is.

Jean Grey

Every X-reader has opinions about the crew that Bendis brought from the past into All-New X-Men, but for Jean Grey, in particular, I think it was one of the best things to happen for the character in a very long time. Jean is mega-powerful and lives without all the convoluted curses that encumbered the “original” version of the character. Her youth, combined with her massive power, makes her an intriguing character on any X-Men team and her presence brings both youth and legacy to the team.

Wolverine

Speaking of legacy, what is an X-Men team without a Wolverine? There are so many situations that the X-Men seem to get themselves into that only a Wolverine can get them out of, and it’s only logical to put the best Wolverine yet, formerly known as X-23, on this team. Her time in the All-New X-Men title showed she’s a very interesting character to throw into any team dynamic.

Iceman

A second member from the time-displaced youth crew, Iceman has never been more interesting than when this young iteration came on the scene. Whether or not you agree with how Jean and Bobby’s discussion was handled regarding his coming out, the two have a bond and I think with Jean and Laura he would round out a trio of really interesting young characters. Youth has always been such a huge part of the X-Men and Iceman is one of the most interesting young mutants around.

Rogue

Powerhouse. She’s just a freakin’ powerhouse. In a crew that features some young guns, a powerhouse veteran never hurts. I’ve always like the dynamic of Rogue’s powers and I think she adds a great dynamic to any team. She’s headstrong and doesn’t just act without questioning authority, so she’d be a solid foil for Storm and bring some fire to the squad.

Bishop

So…let me be very specific here – this is not the Bishop who spent an entire comic series chasing after Cable and trying to kill Hope. This is the soldier from the future, the guy who is a walking cautionary tale…not to mention a man with some serious firepower. As is often the case with Captain Marvel on Avengers teams, a military presence brings an interesting dynamic to a team. A military presence from an apocalyptic future? Well that’s X-Men right there.

Colossus

The slugger. Every team needs a slugger, and Colossus is the best of Mutantkind. Wise, old, bearded Colossus is the slammer with a soul that this X-crew needs. Storm needs dependable team members and he is the very definition of that.

 

Mexi Gremillion

X-Men Misfits: There have to be X-Men who are useless, or seemingly useless. There is the potential of extremely pointless abilities when it comes to being a homo superior, so why not make a team out of such a crew? Who doesn’t like a group of underdogs? So here is my X-Men team: The X-Men Misfits.

Longneck

Jonah Van Helsing’s mutant ability may just be having a six-foot long neck, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be a memorable character. Since he has very little, if any, personality at the moment, he has the potential of having a personality transplant. The neck can also wrap around people and create constriction like a boa constrictor. Plus, I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to give him some added abilities like charm, computer skills, or just some run of the mill martial arts or even lock picking. There’s so much you could do with this guy!

Skin

Think of Angelo Espinosa as a poor man’s Mr. Fantastic. He has about six feet of extra skin which allows him to deform, stretch, compress, expand, and wrap himself around objects or people. While he may not be able to distort his skeletal structure like he can with his gross-looking grey skin, there’s a lot of potential for an ability like that and limitations always make people have to develop creative solutions that are usually more interesting.

Cypher

I honestly don’t understand why Cypher gets such a bad rep. Being an omnilinguist would be extremely helpful, especially if you’re, say, fighting in a country where you don’t know the native language or find yourself and your team stranded in a different dimension where no one speaks English. I almost feel Aquaman levels of bad for this guy, he could be super useful if placed in the right situation.

Butterfly

Layla Rose Miller can literally bring people back from the dead. Are said brought back from the dead people soulless sociopaths afterwards? Yeah, sure, but as long as the situation backs Layla into a corner to where she has to use her ability, or even more interesting, she feels less morally against using her ability, than a lot of really interesting character development could happen for her. Besides, just because someone’s brought back as a sociopath doesn’t mean they can’t become the Dexter kind of sociopath. People’s reactions to being soulless could vary extremely.

Wolfsbane

In a world of mutants like Jean Grey, Magneto, and Scarlet Witch, who would care about a mutant with the ability to transform into a werewolf? Rahne Sinclair has both a comparatively mundane mutant ability as well as a strong connection to religion. She’s compelling because of that religious dynamic as well as what creative thinking she’d need to have to use her abilities against the titans of power she could be put up against.

El Guapo

How does Robbie Rodriguez count as a mutant? I have no clue, but he somehow has a symbiotic relationship with a superpowered flying skateboard and was part of some X-Treme (or, should I say, X-Statix?) 90’s team, so let’s take him as a gift. He has a symbiotic relationship with a superpowered flying skateboard. What more do you want?

Gin Genie

Another strange creation that came from X-Statix, Beckah Parker has the ability to create seismic waves proportionate to her blood alcohol levels. This is an ability with real consequences of the serious medical kind. It’d be interesting to see how someone can balance that ability with health as well as just how well one can control mutant abilities while drunk.

Stacy X

Miranda Leevald would be the leader of this group of weirdos and, honestly, feels like the most underrated of all these mutants. She has durable, scaly skin and she’s capable at hand-to-hand. She can help speed up other people’s healing abilities and give people increased adrenaline or stamina. People always seem to be fixated on the fact that she was once a prostitute and has pheromone powers that can give people instant orgasms. Like that couldn’t be used against someone! I’m sure most people wouldn’t want a random orgasm while, say, driving on a freeway or in a grocery store checkout line. I really don’t understand why she gets so much flack.

This is a really strange team. But I kind of want a really strange team. Who wants a team where everyone is overpowered? I want a team where people have to learn how to use their peculiar gifts in interesting ways in order to make them useful. An always underestimated team that does the seemingly impossible for themselves, yet may never get much credit for it. I want a group of misfits.

 

Allen Thomas

There are so many characters in the X-universe I felt have not gotten their due. There are far too many for them to all have the same spotlight, but what I tend to see is that the same ones get put into rotation. My team features some who are typical, but also others I feel could use a little boost. The X-Men thrive on team unity, but also team diversity, which is where the inspiration for this ensemble comes from.

Jean Grey

Her connection to the Phoenix Force is definitely to be reckoned with, but her ties to humanity tether her so that her compassion and empathy are always apparent. Jean is a more than capable leader, and without her past barriers, she could have been far more than Xavier could have ever imagined. The legendary vessel and twin of the Phoenix recognizes the strengths and weaknesses of her team, but always approaches them with the necessary amount of care to help them succeed. Working with Storm, the best friends will recognize when to yield and when to persist, something that is a difficulty among other leaders of this ragtag team of mutants.

Storm

Storm will always, always deserve her spot as a veritable leader. Even without powers, she was still someone of high regard, guiding her team through a number of distressing situations. Storm is very much a leader who looks at her team with respect and knows how to drive them. And working with Jean? We get the best of two worlds because of their relationship. She is a powerhouse in her own right, and she knows when to draw the dagger versus the tongue of diplomacy. She would challenge Jean to make difficult decisions that do not revolve around cosmic power, while also using the extent of her own to ensure that the right people are protected.

Bling

Bling is a character who has deserved some recognition, but who has only popped up in a few stories, despite her utility in combat. In this team of X-Men she could be the veritable tank while also expanding the scope of her powers. Instead of thousands of diamond shards, what if she could create a grand diamond offense? She is under-utilized and under the right team who understands her and her powers, she could excel.

Northstar

A member of Alpha Flight and the X-Men, Northstar has seen his share of battles. He is also one to be deliberate with any of his teammates, aiding the leaders in recognizing the talent of the young and brusque but also willing to be assertive with his own ideas. As a senior member of these X-Men, Northstar brings in multiple viewpoints, using his powers to diversity their overall skillset but also utilizing vital skills with mediation and understanding relationships.

Monet

Monet is an understated and underrated powerhouse. She has brava for millennia and the powerset to prove it. She would be handy with her reserved and calculated leaders in taking on missions with no end of danger, able to take them head-on. I feel like we haven’t seen much of Monet outside of a couple of circumstances, but she is more than valuable as a team member.

Anole

Anole’s abilities grant him skills in espionage and physical combat. Who wouldn’t want a handy lizard on their team? Even though he’s a younger member, his sense of compassion and adventure could drive his team to undertake risks but with a sense of joy. Even with his mutant powers, his demeanor lends to calm environments and resolution, to the point that he could be vital in mending any rift between his team members.

Dazzler

Who wouldn’t want Dazzler on their team? With further stories, her powers were explored, revealing that melting people’s faces is an easy task with the right amount of noise. Dazzler has seen many different experiences, from popstar fame to the threat of mutant extinction. She has powers which can be deftly employed with the right strategy in addition to her varied experiences. She is enough of a veteran but also a free-spirit to bridge the gap between the old-guard and the new-wave, synthesizing their personalities and abilities to create an entirely new team.

Pixie

Ever known for being a source of joy, Pixie can be the emotional center of the team but also connect them to the forces of magic. Experiencing the pain of mystical trial, she adds a different kind of understanding about the entire world that is not simply bound by being a mutant. As an adept traveler, she can get her team wherever they need to go while also questioning their intentions and motives. As someone who could easily bow to darkness, she is a light that could guide her team in the worst of their challenges.

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